Saturday, May 31, 2008
High Voltage Hibiscus
Friday, May 30, 2008
True and False Prophets
This morning I was reading Elder Dallin H. Oaks's talk in last month's General Conference about testimony. I am so grateful to have conviction of the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the restoration of his original church complete with priesthood power and saving ordinances performed by those holding it. Although there are many who misunderstand us or even revile us because of this faith, there are now thirteen million members of our church world-wide who carry the same conviction in their hearts. One of the central beliefs of all thirteen million of our members is that our church is led by a prophet of God who speaks the will of God to us and it is required of a faithful member to heed and obey his words.
Ben was riding the train to work some months ago and was approached by a man who wanted to proselyte atheism. During the conversation with him, the man discovered that Ben was a Mormon. In response to this he told Ben that he belongs to a cult. Ben said that Mormon's are not a cult. The man said, "You store food in your basement and you follow a prophet; you belong to a cult."
To him, and to all those who believe similarly, I have a response. Yes, we are encouraged to store extra food in our homes for emergency purposes, and yes we do follow a prophet, but no, we are not a cult. Why is that? We should be a cult. All other groups of people who follow a prophet end up dead or in violation of the law. Why are we different? Rather than lumping us into other groups who are cults, the world would do well to examine the remarkable fact that we are not. . . .but we should be.
Consider for a moment, a cult that has received much attention in the media in recent months. The FLDS church is fraught with problems and apostate doctrine. Let me be clear about my feelings about these people. I love them very much. They are my brothers and sisters who have been lead astray by their leaders and suffered much because of them. As for their women, I would rather be executed than have my children taken from me and raised differently than I believe to be right. Such has been their plight. I wish there was something I could do to help them. They may dress differently than me, and their customs are certainly strange, but I hope that they, as well as all men and women who are lost in doctrinal confusion, might find the truth we all seek that we might sit down together in the Kingdom of God.
That being said, there are definite problems with their church. I don't claim to be an expert on their doctrines and beliefs. I have never spoken to one of their members. I prefer to learn about a church from its members as that is how I believe my own church should be judged. From what I have heard however, their leader, Warren Jeffs, has been behaving as a false prophet always behaves. False prophets know they don't really receive revelation from God, but they have to appear that they do. They are no better than other men, but they have to convince everyone else that they are. In their inner circle of friends, there are always going to be those who see and know the truth and they must be excommunicated in order to keep the rest of the membership in ignorance. The false prophet is always having to remind everyone else that he and he alone is able to receive true revelation from God.
In contrast to that, consider the RLDS church. They have not been in the news, because they do not practice polygamy, they do not claim to follow a prophet, and they do not encourage the marriage of very young girls. Their church has evolved in the last century to become much like other Protestant Christian churches. Their church has been very successful. They are a world-wide church with members in the millions. Although the RLDS and the FLDS churches both broke off from the mainstream LDS church, the RLDS is not a cult. Why is that? Because they do not follow a false prophet.
What is a false prophet and why is it so dangerous to follow one? A false prophet is no different than a tyrant. There is no difference between a man who usurps political power that does not belong to him and a man who usurps spiritual power that does not belong to him. They look the same. They do not lead by example or free will, but by compulsion and oppression.
The Declaration of Independence states, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just power from the consent of the governed." Never has there been, a more inspired political truth! This truth stands in direct opposition of the popular view of the time, the divine right of kings. This view was that a king was somehow given superiority from God and that whatever he did was the will of God. Thomas Jefferson knew that all men are created equal, that no one has a right to exercise dominion over anyone else. The only legitimate political power rests with the collective wisdom of the whole people.
Can anyone be so arrogant as to believe that he or she knows more than the collective wisdom of the people? Can anyone deny the power of shared knowledge among a group of professionals? Look at science; how far would science have come if not for scientific journals? The scientific journal provides a medium for scientists to communicate, debate, and agree on truth. No single man, regardless of how brilliant, could have single-handedly led the scientific community to the place it is today. Such it is with political knowledge and leadership. One man could not and should not do it. It is better left to the collective wisdom of the people.
Protestant Christianity is to democracy, as Catholicism is to monarchy, no offense to Catholics. The protestant churches arose as a rebellion against the tyranny of Catholic dominion just as democracy arose against the tyranny of monarchy. The protestant churches believe that the source of spiritual knowledge, rather than abiding in a single church or in a single leader, arises from the collective wisdom derived through biblical study. The only problem is, spiritual knowledge has limitations when it comes to collective wisdom. It is not like science where all of the answers can be derived from observation of the world around us. The eternal world is closed to the wisdom of man. So, we are stuck. Tyranny of the one true church, that is not really true, following a false prophet who claims to speak for God, but really doesn't; or trust in collective wisdom and the bible, which has severe limitations. Where do we go from here?
There is one exception to Jefferson's statement that all men are created equal. There was one man, born two-thousand years ago who had the divine authority to rule over men politically and lead them spiritually. He had a style of leadership completely different than the typical tyrant who would usurp divine authority to rule. He did not depend on unrighteous domination to defend his authority. His authority flowed to him as did his followers without compulsion or constraint. Truly, he was more than a man and in the time he walked the earth, there was one true church and Peter, his prophet was not a false prophet usurping his role, but a true one deriving his authority not from men, but from God. Jesus Christ and his true prophets do not depend on the collective wisdom to rule and lead mankind, it is given them from God.
Obviously following a false prophet is a bad idea. Trusting in the collective spiritual wisdom is better, but not ideal. Following Christ himself, or his true prophet is the ideal. The question comes in how to determine whether a prophet is true or not. Fortunately, Christ himself gave us the test to prove a false prophet. Matthew 7:15-20:
15 ¶ Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
What would be the fruits of a tyrannical false prophet? What thorns and thistles is the Savior talking about that would characterize a church led by a false prophet? Could it be the thorns of tyranny and the thistles of oppression? Could they be the thorns and thistles of the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, and the persecution of so called heretics? Could they refer to the abominable practice of forcing young women into oppressive marriages where they are unequally yoked with men twice their age? What about the thorns of collective suicide? I think it is clear that these are the thorns and thistles the Savior was referring to.
What of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? Where are the thorns and thistles? Our critics would take issue with me and say that there were plenty of thorns and thistles evident in the early Mormon church. They are armed with much of what we call anti-Mormon literature. What they have to say about those early days of the church is about people who are dead and cannot defend themselves, neither can the truth of the deeds they did or did not do be substantiated or refuted by witnesses because they are also dead. Are we stuck? Surely if Joseph Smith and Brigham Young sowed the seeds of tyranny and oppression, those seeds would have sprouted and flourished in the last two hundred years. Theoretically their successors should be worse than they were because as the church has become more prosperous and more well regarded, the honor of being President would have become a magnet for the ambitious. So, what of our Prophet today? What manner of man is he?
Thomas S. Monson, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, regarded as prophet, seer, and revelator by millions around the world. The power he has over the hearts and minds of the LDS people is hard for the worldly mind to comprehend, and yet, what dastardly acts does he ask his people to do? What dramatic and ambitious plans does he have now that he is in charge? None. We are counseled to obey the laws of the land, be humble and gracious in our interactions with those not of our faith, and strive to achieve excellence in our professional, scholastic, and interpersonal lives. We are told to seek spiritual truth through the Holy Ghost which is conferred upon us after baptism. Rather than claiming to be the sole repository of spiritual knowledge and authority, he encourages the members to pray and ask God for knowledge and faith to follow the Savior. His associates follow him voluntarily and without reservation. The quorum of the twelve apostles who are his closest advisers are also sustained by the membership of the church as prophets, seers and revelators and they act in unity in all decisions.
Is Thomas S. Monson a criminal legally or morally? Quite the contrary, as a young man he excelled in this profession rising to become an executive in the advertising division of the Deseret News, a prestigious Utah newspaper. Later he served as general manager of the Deseret News Press. While working full time, he also served many hours per week serving without pay as a bishop of a Utah ward with many widows. He cared for them like each one was his own mother. He made it a point to speak at every one of their funerals. He was appointed by Ronald Reagan as a President's Task Force member for Private Sector Initiatives. He received the Bronze Wolf award, the highest award in International Scouting.
Our critics may have plenty of mud to sling at the dead prophets in our faith, but what of the living prophet? Surely it would be more beneficial to mankind to expose the current thorns and thistles than those that supposedly existed in the past. If our church were founded by a false prophet and if it were led by one today, it could not exist in its current form. That, more than any single piece of tangible evidence, is proof to me, that Thomas S. Monson is a true prophet.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Birthday Money
My parents generously sent me some money for my birthday, and of course, I bought plants. I was able to make the money stretch by using several coupons. I purchased a crepemurtle tree, which is a very common multi-trunk tree around here. It blooms with pink, purple, or red flowers all summer until the first frost, which isn't usually until November or December. It should be really gorgeous. I also bought several Chinese Variegated Privet bushes, which are also very common around here. The privets are sage colored and the crepemurtle has burgundy foliage and pink flowers. We plan to plant the crepemurtle with the privets forming a circle around it in front of our holly hedge in the front yard.
I also purchased a couple more verbena plants for my little garden by the fence. This time they are purple. One of my coupons had five free vinca plants with a $10 purchase, so I got some free vinca plants that I spaced in between my verbena. I had the assurances of the sales associate at Calloways that the vinca will be able to stand the heat and full sun in that garden, and they should "trail" over the side of my railroad ties.
The new rose bushes are making mixed progress. The bush on the left side is doing great. Aside from its foliage being a little anemic, it has several canes of new growth coming up. I gave it some iron, zinc, copper supplement,soil acidifier, and some root stimulator yesterday in hopes of helping it cope with the alkaline soil. Several of my rose bushes are producing anemic leaves in their new growth. I'm not sure why this is happening, except that I think the soil in our yard is alkaline and that sometimes that interferes with the ability of plants to absorb certain minerals. I am learning a lot about soils and plant health lately!
Unfortunately, the other new rose bush doesn't have a single new cane coming up. It seems to be having a hard time coming out of transplant shock. Ben is not worried, but I am a little. I hope it comes out of it!
I almost forgot, my Mother's Day gift, a hibiscus plant, should be arriving tomorrow. Yipee!
Patio
When we tilled up the backyard for the new grass, we messed up the patio. We took up some of the stones and tilled under them. Ever since, they haven't sat quite right. I have also had to battle with grass trying to grow up between the stones. Even when I zap them with Roundup, they still leave an ugly plant skeleton. The solution was, of course, to take up all the stones, level the ground with some sand, put down some landscaping fabric, then replace the stones on top of it. I knew that if I waited for Ben to do this job, it wouldn't probably get done until this Fall. (All due respect to Ben. It isn't that he is lazy, it is just that he has no time.) So, naturally, the job fell to me.
Yesterday I took up all the stones and put them in two piles. I thought at first that I would be able to level the ground without sand, but I found that to be impossible. I tried to rake the wet clay and all I managed to do was scrape up a few clay balls that I tried to roll over to the low spots. Ben leaves for work at 7:00 AM and arrives home at 7:00 PM., so if I want to run errands with him, we go after dinner. With the kids bouncing off the walls at 8:30 last night, we went to Lowe's and bought some sand to put under our patio stones. We also got some soil to fill in a flower bed we are making in the front yard. More on that later.
This morning, I went out and leveled the sand, cut, laid, and stapled the fabric in place, and put the stones back on. Now I feel like my fingerprints have been sanded off. Each of those stones weighs probably twenty-five pounds, and each bag of sand weighs fifty. Although I am exhausted, it feels extremely good to have that project completed.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Slideshow Note
Just a few things about the slideshow I just posted, the pictures were taken by Ben, who is something of a photojournalist. He is getting quite good at telling a story with his pictures. Hopefully you will feel like you were there at the party too as you play peek-a-boo with Layne and watch me struggle to cut the ice cream cake.
Incidentally, I wasn't trying to be sexy in wearing my swimming suit top for the party, I was trying to stay cool. It was hot as Hades outside and I was watering my plants when Layne woke from his nap and we decided to hurry and do the cake thing.
Memorial Day Musing
What a great birthday and Memorial Day weekend! It is a wonderful time to spend with family and welcome in the summer. It is also a day to reflect on the blessings we enjoy in this wonderful country. I watched the movie, Everafter, last week and was impressed with the passion the main character had for Sir Thomas More. I looked up Sir Thomas More on Wikipedia to find out more about him and found that he was a much more controversial man than I had thought.
Apparently he was a very devout Catholic who believed that the religious reformation that was happening in his time was a terrible cancer and those who were bringing it about were evil heretics who needed to be executed. He hunted down and had William Tyndale executed for heresy because he translated the bible from Greek into English making it possible for the people of English descent to read the word of God for themselves in their own language. There was one man he had executed because he believed the sacrament was not the actual blood and body of the Savior but a representation. The typical execution method for heretics was drawing and quartering, which was basically by stretching the body out and then cutting it into pieces.
It is tempting to think of Sir Thomas More as an awful man, but he was really extremely intelligent, an excellent writer, a devoted father, and a very pious person. In another time, I think he would never have done such atrocious things. He was, I believe, a victim of his time and his culture. Like Paul, he persecuted the innocent followers of Christ in his religious zeal to defend an apostate religion. Like Paul, he was eventually killed in defense of his own faith. Sir Thomas More was executed for treason because he refused to recognize King Henry VIII as the head of the church in England independent of the Pope in Rome.
My purpose in bringing this up is to contrast English culture during the reformation with United States culture today. Sir Thomas More was so terrified of diversity of religious views among Christians that he believed capital punishment was required to contain it. Contrast that to the First Amendment which states, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."
Essentially what was created with the ratification of the Constitution and its inspired Bill of Rights, was a society in which the diversity of religious opinions was not to be feared or contained, but encouraged and protected. Americans were free to study their own bibles, and find religious truth for themselves rather than depend on a priest in an established state religion to ration it to them.
What a change it must have been for the citizens of the newly made republic to find that they could express religious convictions and beliefs in complete freedom as long as they allowed others the same privilege. It is no wonder that Joseph Smith was born into a culture where, as he described there was, "an unusual excitement on the subject of religion." For the first time, it was safe to express religious belief without fear of retribution, so people were doing it, and they were not in agreement.
Poor Joseph tried using the bible as a way of sorting out the issue. After all, hadn't that been what the reformers had used? The Catholic church was desperate to keep the bible out of the hands of the common people to keep it from becoming a weapon against them. Unfortunately, the bible had been so analysed and picked over, that people were able to twist its words to fit almost any belief. The bible when it had first come into the common hands, had a been a great a poignant ray of light in the terrible darkness of the time, but now it was clear that it was not enough. More light was required. Joseph saw this and records his feelings in Joseph Smith History:
11 While I was laboring under the extreme difficulties caused by the contests of these parties of religionists, I was one day reading the Epistle of James, first chapter and fifth verse, which reads: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
12 Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart. I reflected on it again and again, knowing that if any person needed wisdom from God, I did; for how to act I did not know, and unless I could get more wisdom than I then had, I would never know; for the teachers of religion of the different sects understood the same passages of scripture so differently as to destroy all confidence in settling the question by an appeal to the Bible.
James 1:5 held the key to greater knowledge. The bible, although a wonderful source of light that, when released from the linguistic and physical chains imposed on it by ecclesiastical tyranny, guided our ancestors to superior religious knowledge during the reformation, was not all there was. Man was free to importune the God of Heaven Himself for wisdom unadulterated and perfect which he was sure to receive if he but asked for it in faith. Essentially, what that scripture means, is that the cannon of scripture is not closed. The word of God is not contained in books but within Himself. The bible is but an expression of a part of that word, not the word itself.
Joseph experimented upon the scripture in James and found the knowledge he was seeking. Throughout his life he continued seeking for more light and knowledge. I believe that by the time he died, he knew more about God, his character and attributes, his dealings with his children, and the eternal world than any man who has lived since.
Just as the Catholic church feared the disseminated knowledge of the bible in common hands, the modern Christian churches fear the dissemination of personal revelation, and for good reason. Personal revelation is impossible to control. Priests of an established religion are safe you can tell them what to say, personal biblical interpretation is not safe, but personal revelation is downright dangerous. The amazing thing is, it works.
God does speak to man. The cannon of scripture is not closed. James 1:5 is true! If you lack wisdom in any matter relating to God, you can ask him and he will tell you. As another prophet once said, ". . . If ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things." Moroni 10:4-5
Can you imagine how Sir Thomas More would have felt about Joseph Smith? I would probably be drawn and quartered for writing this blog! That brings me back to the United States, and Memorial Day. What a wonderful country we live in! It is a land that does not fear the human mind and the diversity of opinions. Lady Liberty embraces debate and because of that we have risen as a light to the world. May we ever be so. God bless those who have given and are giving, and will give their lives to defend our country, and above all, our precious liberty.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Busy Morning
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Devin's Damages and Layne's Revenge
Now for Devin's damage. Ben was using the pliers and Devin made off with them. He decided it would be fun to make over our walls. It's a good thing that we have touch up paint! He also managed to procure a pair of scissors and cut a whole in my new bedspread. Ben caught him quickly though, so it was only one small hole.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
My Birthday
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Oleander Explaination
It is a very hard thing to butcher a bush in full bloom, but when the bush is badly diseased, sometimes it has to happen. Since the hail storm, this oleander bush has been having trouble healing. I think a fungus must have made its way into the plant by the open sores caused by the hail. Where the fungus has taken root, a large black swelling forms. The fungus then moves to the leaves and flowers causing them to blacken and warp. I tried to cut off all the damaged branches and leaves. I cut enough off to fill an entire garbage bag. I then sprayed it down with insecticide. I don't know if the bush will survive because the entire plant is covered in hail damage. I only removed the parts of the plant that were infected with the fungus.
Comeback Kid
Lilly
My lone lilly plant is growing nicely and getting ready to bloom in the next month or so. Inside the leaves you can see the small buds forming.
Rose Pictures
I just went out and took some pictures of my rose bushes. My red and yellow bushes are really putting on a show right now. This is the reward for all my hours of fretting and sweating over them!
Hoorah!
The computer is fixed! I am now typing on my built-in-this-decade computer. It is sad to think of how spoiled I have become. In high school, that old laptop would have been the top of the line, but that was ten years ago. A lot has changed in ten years. Ben put the old motherboard back in and removed the rogue memory stick, and now it is back to normal. I can't even tell that half the memory is gone. It is so much faster than the laptop.
Life is looking good right now. My birthday is in two days, tomorrow is the opening day for Hawaiian Falls, I have a car to drive, the computer is fixed, and in a little over a week my parents will be coming for a visit.
Today is going to be a busy day though. I need to get the grocery shopping done today because this weekend is going to be busy. I also need to get a new swimming suit for Devin. Unfortunately, the one we got him a few months ago is still too big and falls off periodically. There is no way to cinch it up, so I guess it will be next year's swimming suit. I hope he still likes Thomas the Train.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Early to Bed, Early to Rise
Some nights I actually go to bed at a decent time. When that happens, I am usually able to get up early, which is very nice. Today I was able to get up at 7:00, which is very early for me. I was able to shower, dress, and start cutting my coupons before Devin got out of bed. It is always nice to have a bit of a head start on the kids. Otherwise it feels like I am chasing after them all day.
I found a small leaf bud on one of my new bare-root rose bushes that is still alive. That is very encouraging. I hope that I can keep them alive while they get their root structure and leaves built up. My other bushes are doing very well. My little red rose bush has six flowers that are just opening. My yellow one has two. The big pink bush is getting ready for another show as well. The pink bush has some issues though. I have several branches of yellowing leaves. They don't have black spot or anything. They look anemic or something. I read online that sometimes that means a nutrient deficiency. Unfortunately it can also mean a toxic buildup of nutrients. It can mean not enough water, or sometimes it is overwatered. I used some root stimulator a few days ago and that seemed to help, so I gave it another dose today. I also watered it and put some bone meal into the soil. I guess we will see if it helps at all.
For about an hour this morning I pulled bermuda roots and shoots out of my flower beds. It is called inexperience in Texas gardening. When I put in my flower beds, I dutifully sprayed all the little weeds with roundup until they were dead, then I spread mulch on top, thinking I was done. Little did I know that there was a weed that remains dormant all spring, that is nearly impossible to kill, and impervious to mulch, that would rear its ugly head and spoil my beautiful garden. Bermuda grass is the most awful stuff I have ever seen. A friend of mine told me that she had some fill dirt we could have. She told me that it had bermuda grass in it and it would be good to have if I was going to have a bermuda lawn. She warned me not to use the dirt in a flowerbed. She said, "You can't kill bermuda grass." Now I am wondering if she was right. For about a foot under the ground, bermuda grass sends it's runners from shoot to shoot. You can't pull it up by pulling the surface plant. It is like trying to tear up carpet by pulling on one loop. You have to get underneath the plant, down to the root system where it has roots like spiders whose fingers stretch widely and intertwine with eachother, protecting eachother. Well, just use Roundup you might suggest. Roundup doesn't seem to hurt this plant. I have sprayed it twice and the only thing that has happened to it is a few spots on the leaves. I sprayed it on Monday and today it is still not dead in spite of three days of ninety degree heat. That is why I have been out in the garden trying to dig out all the roots. Wish me luck.
I have been having some technical problems with my slideshows. Blogger doesn't like the html code that Photobucket uses. I can't put labels on them, so when you click on the slideshow link, the last two slideshows won't be there. I am going to have to figure out what to do about that. Until then, enjoy them while they are here!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Crazy World
Ben and I stayed up extremely late last night working on the computer. We bought a new CPU on Saturday, but that didn't fix the computer. Yesterday Ben took that back to Fry's and we got a new motherboard, but that didn't fix it either. Ben thinks it is one of the memory sticks. When he took one of them out, it worked. Unfortunately, our keyboard doesn't work, otherwise I would not be on the archaic laptop again today. I guess Ben has to change some stuff in the bios for the keyboard to work because it is a Microsoft keyboard and does not run in DOS. Go figure.
We also did the grocery shopping last night, so that and the repairs made for a busy evening. Fortunately, I have food in my cupboards and I almost have a working computer. Tomorrow the Charter technician is supposed to come out and install our new phone. Next month we are planning to budget for a new printer. Hopefully someday we will fix our car, and then maybe the "break-down" phase we are in will be over.
It has been really hot the last couple of days. The grass and some of the plants haven't liked that. Our new rosebushes have lost all their new growth. I'm not sure what that entails. I hope the bushes will not die. I am worried, but Ben is sure they will be okay. One of my Verbena plants wilted pretty badly before I discovered it and gave it some water.
The boys have been having fun watching Toy Story and playing with their new backyard kiddie pool. Although it is a boat-race pool, the boats do not go down the channel like they are supposed to. They have fun with it anyway though. I better go get lunch started.
Monday, May 19, 2008
The Other Face of Jealousy
I have had an epiphany. I have discovered a weakness of mine that I have had for some time and did not know I had. This must be a blessing from the Lord for attending the temple. A blessing you say? To discover a weakness? How is that a blessing? My friend, it is like finding a pebble in your shoe that has been giving you blisters for years and you didn't know what was hurting you. It is like a Christmas present when you remove the pebble and the pain lessens.
A dear friend called me today and in our conversation she mentioned in passing that she was jealous of me for some small thing. I pondered on the concept for a while after we hung up. Someone could be jealous of me? Between my broken-down car, my broken computer, my static phone, my crazy children, my chronic tardiness, and my other pity party bullet points, it was a foreign concept that someone could be jealous of me. Then the thought occurred to me, am I jealous of others? I hadn't thought of it as jealousy. I had always considered it to be feeling inferior or inadequate. Somehow seeing my feelings as feelings of jealousy made them feel much more in my control. It is difficult not to feel inferior or inadequate, but deciding not to be jealous would seem much easier.
Ironically, I had never thought of myself as a jealous person. I have prided myself on the fact that I have always sincerely been happy for my friends or acquaintances when good things have come their way. What I hadn't realized before is that although being happy for someone else's good fortune is a great thing, I had inadvertently slipped into the habit of feeling sorry for myself because I lacked similar blessings. This is also a form of jealousy.
I have become so used to feeling sorry for myself that I have actually believed that no aspect of my life could be more positive than another person. Today I realized that although my friends and acquaintances may have some blessings that I don't, they are most likely more mindful of the blessings that I have that they don't! I may notice their immaculate house and nice furniture, but they may notice that I loose weight quickly after having a baby. I may notice that they have family close by to help with their kids, but they may notice that I have a very considerate and helpful husband. It is important to focus on the positive and keep a balanced perspective.
I am thankful for a friend who was jealous of me and wasn't ashamed to admit it. I hope that I can do the same.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Temple
Ben and I went to the temple last night. It seems like going to the temple is harder to do than moving mountains. It seems like everything went wrong Friday and Saturday. We are going into the week with no groceries because I didn't get the shopping done.
I have decided that spiritual nourishment and temporal pleasures can be compared to food. You know that a candy bar is not nearly as good for you as a meal of cedar-plank salmon with wild rice and steamed broccoli. But if you are starving and you don't have a lot of time to prepare good food, what are you going to eat? If you stop eating good food all together and just eat the junk because you are starving and busy, than pretty soon your health is in the toilet and you feel pretty miserable.
You know that what really makes you happy in the long-term is a good diet of spiritual food with regular scripture study, fasting, prayer, and temple attendance. But when you are depressed and in need of a quick pick-me-up, which is easier, to go to the store and buy some stuff, or go to the temple? After a while, when you aren't going to the temple and you keep getting quick fixes from the things of the world, pretty soon your spiritual health is in the toilet and you feel pretty miserable. I guess that was how I was feeling Saturday.
My computer is broken and I hadn't done my grocery shopping, and Ben decides it would be a good thing for us to go help the youth do baptisms for the dead. I was so mad! It was two in the afternoon, we hadn't eaten lunch, the kids hadn't had naps, we hadn't done the shopping, and we were supposed to be at the temple at 6:30. I was sure that what I needed to be happy was cupboards full of food, a working computer, and a nice dinner and evening out with Ben. I was wrong. Those things were the candy bars and what I needed was cedar-plank salmon, wild rice, and steamed broccoli. The young men's president's wife ended up watching the boys while we helped in the temple. It ended up being a great experience for both of us and I feel much better. I am grateful for a husband who was willing to serve and then put up with my ranting and raving. I am even more grateful for a Heavenly Father who never ceases to answer my prayers and impart of his spirit to me even though I am so imperfect.
Friday, May 16, 2008
The Roses are Here!
The roses finally came just after I published my last post. They are much bigger than I thought they would be. They are quite mature plants, but they are bare root. I wasn't expecting bare root plants, but they had some instructions and I followed them, so hopefully all will be well. Instead of just soaking them in water, I soaked them in a weak root stimulating hormone solution. I figured that would be better than plain water. I soaked the roots for two and half hours before planting them, then I dumped the root stimulating solution into the bed. Tomorrow I will treat them with my Bayer 3-in-1 fertilizer, fungicide, pesticide. The roses have several buds of new growth, so we should see some really exciting things in the next couple of weeks, although no blossoms for a while yet.
I told Ben if this rose garden works out well, I want to do another one on the side of the house in the front yard. It gets a lot of sun and the soil is better. I have also learned a lot from this garden about the kind of plants I want and how to make the bed. If things work out with these bare-root roses, I think I will go with them for my next garden. You can get them for cheaper, but they are mature. In this rose garden, I put an inch of gravel under the rose roots to help with drainage because our soil is very heavy clay. I think next time I will put a layer of landscaping fabric below the gravel to prevent the clay from filling in the spaces between the gravel and reducing its effectiveness. Then I would do two or even three inches of gravel and another layer of landscaping fabric above the gravel. I would also make my bed a lot deeper. I only put my layer of gravel about 18 to 20 inches under the ground. In my next rose bed, I want to put it more like 24 to 30 inches under the ground. That will give the roots more space to spread out.
One of the things I like most about gardening is the opportunity to learn and try out new ideas. There are few things more rewarding than seeing a strong new cane emerge from a newly pruned spot, or a new plant double in size two weeks after you planted it. Although I am a lot more paranoid about the weather than I used to be, this new hobby has been a great one.
Roses
My roses haven't arrived yet. They have been out for delivery on the FedEx truck since 8:00 this morning. It has been all I can do to keep myself from sitting out in the front yard waiting for them to come. As for my other roses, we don't have a single blossom right now. (sigh) I guess I can thank all those rotten little aphids for that. The aphids stunted the new growth so badly that it has taken a while for the bushes to actually produce any buds.
I looked over my hibiscus plant with a fine toothed comb today. I unfurled some of the new little leaves and found clusters of green and black aphids. The bush was quite infested with them. I cleaned them out the best I could. Hopefully the systemic pesticide I gave it yesterday will help. Bugs are such a pain! I have something eating my wave petunias and marigolds as well, so I sprayed them down today.
The verbena is still alive and appears to be doing well in its new home. Several of my canna plants appear to be diseased. I guess there is a very prevalent and devastating canna virus that has infected much of the nursery stock of plants. Some sources I read believe that every plant sold by major home improvement nurseries are infected by it. I bought my rhizomes from Lowe's, so I shouldn't be surprised that I got a few bad ones. Hopefully my other's will be okay.
I gave Devin and Layne haircuts last night. Devin looks so handsome with his hair short. Layne, on the other hand looks better with longer hair on top, so I only cut the sides on his. I'm sure Devin will enjoy the shorter cut since it is cooler, but I don't feel too bad for Layne. His hair is not nearly as long as mine after all.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Sunny Day
Yesterday I ripped out all the dead bermuda grass in a small strip of land on the side of the yard that I want to turn into a small garden. The soil is very sandy, and the boys entertained themselves by digging and playing in it. I went to Lowe's last night after we had put the kids to bed to buy some lantana to put in the garden, but after talking to the nursery worker I decided that lantana was not what I was looking for. She recommended vinca vine, which grows very well around here as a flowering ground cover. They didn't have it at Lowe's though so she recommended I try Walmart. What a sad garden center that Walmart had! It was sad to see all the droopy woebegone plants. Walmart didn't have vinca vine anyway, so I went home empty handed.
When I got home, I searched the internet for a while and decided that vinca vine was not what I wanted because it needs partial shade and this little spot is very sunny. A plant called verbena was what I was after as it needs as much sun as possible and well drained soil. I was determined to get some plants in my little garden today, so I decided to brave the nursery with my two boys in tow. It took me all morning, but I eventually managed to drag my boys to the nursery to buy some plants. Layne was an angel in the stroller. Devin pushed him around in the rocks and down the aisles of plants. Aside from soaking himself and Layne in a display fountain, Devin was pretty well-behaved too. I managed to find verbena, but it was not the purple I had wanted. They only had white. Several of the plants looked sad, but I was able to find some that were healthy and happy. They were on sale half price too, so even though they weren't purple, they will work. This nursery also had vinca vine. I purchased one plant and put it under my honeylocust tree. We need some ground cover under there and I think it will do nicely.
I think sometimes an important skill that a gardener needs is the ability to determine when to give up on a plant. I have been nurturing and babying one of my rose bushes for a month now and it just continues to get more and more sick. All but maybe five or six leaves had died and fallen off and every cane was at least half black and dead. I decided it was time to say goodbye. I ordered two new rose bushes from Home Depot and so today I dug up my sick bush and threw it in the trash. I figured, I bought five rose bushes from Home Depot for $4.60 a peice. If I get four of those five to grow into decent bushes, I have done really well. These two bushes that I just ordered should be a little better quality. I learned my lesson with the last bunch. It has been difficult to grow these ones! I have been fighting aphids, thrips, black spot, and rust ever since I planted them.
Speaking of the rose bushes I ordered, they should arrive tomorrow! I got an email notifying me that they shipped last Tuesday. My little swimming pool should also come tomorrow. Things are definitely looking better to me in the cyber business world. I was starting to think that maybe hauling my boys around to stores would be easier than waiting for shipments.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Nearly Out of the Woods
We had a thunderstorm yesterday afternoon and one early this morning, but so far, we have been spared hail and the resultant damages. We are due to have one more thunderstorm tonight, and then we are out of the woods. Hopefully, that will be the last bought of severe storms as we are now heading into summer.
I am an impatient person I suppose. I have ordered several things online and none of them have shipped. I ordered a children's swimming pool last Friday and two rose plants on Monday. Ben ordered my Mother's Day hibiscus on the eighth and it hasn't shipped yet either. Grrrrr!
We have sunk to new lows in hygene. Layne was found in the bathroom yesterday dipping a liquid medication measurement spoon into the toilet and drinking the toilet water. Fortunately, Devin had flushed the toilet after his prior use.
When I got out of the shower this morning, Ben had just left for work, and Devin came into the room and announced, "I flustrated with Daddy." I said, "Oh you are? Why is that?" He said, "I want him to give me loves."
I was sure that Ben had remembered to give him kisses before he left, and apparently he had, but he hadn't given him hugs. That was why he was upset. He is a hoot!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Yellow Rose and Oleander Boys
This is the first rose we have had in a week. It is a pretty little yellow rose from one of the healthiest of our six bushes. We should have m
ore from this bush soon.
I brought the boys a couple of Oleander blooms from the front yard. They had fun wearing them behind their ea
rs.
Sympathies
Our sympathies go out to all those in Burma and China who have been effected by the recent cyclone and earthquake. It is truly a dark and miserable time for many in the East. We pray for those who have been called to the eternal world so unexpectedly, that they will be blessed on their journey hence, as well as those who mourn their loss.
Meanwhile, we here at the Corner Garden in Mansfield are preparing for our own bout of storms in the next day or two. I was outside lamenting the damage that is still evident on many of my plants from the last storm. Our oleander plant is likely to die from a fungus that has entered into it from wounds made by hail. Our two maple trees are also still struggling from damage to their leaves and bark. In light of the many people who have lost homes and loved ones to mother nature's fury in recent weeks, my damages seem small indeed. It is sobering to think that tomorrow is not guaranteed to come for any of us. Even for those who survive devastation, their lives are never the same.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Computer Troubles
My computer is not working anymore. According to Ben, the technical brains of this operation, it might be the mother-board or the CPU. Anyway, the computer won't even boot up which means that I am now using "Blinky," our archaic laptop. Fortunately, we have Blinky otherwise I would probably not be writing this now. Unfortunately, all my pictures and videos are on the hard-drive of my other computer. I should be able to connect my camera to Blinky through USB and upload future pictures. Until then, I will sign off.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Happy Mother's Day
This morning before church I put highlights in my hair. I finally got my haircut last Friday and so I decided it was now or never. I haven't put highlights in my hair in two years. I use a home highlighting kit from Sally's Beauty Supply with a cap that you pull your hair through. It turned out really well, especially considering it cost me seven dollars.
The Mother's Day program in sacrament meeting was really good. I remembered the awful day I had on Mother's Day four years ago. We had been trying to get pregnant for two years and I was starting to loose hope that we ever would. Church was difficult for me anyway because of all the children and babies in sacrament meeting. If that was difficult, Mother's Day was torture. I remember trying to think of my own mother and how grateful I was for her rather than my own desires for motherhood, but I ended up leaving the meeting early and just crying. That was a difficult time and even though my children drive me crazy sometimes, I would never want to go back to that time in life again.
Ben cooked chicken on the grill for me tonight, so that was nice. We ate outside in the garden. The roses are doing so well. I counted about fifteen rose buds in our rose garden. In a couple of weeks, we are going to have some really beautiful roses.
Ben ordered a hibiscus plant for me for Mother's Day. It is a High Voltage which is a really highly recommended hybrid from Hidden Valley Hibiscus. It is in a big eight inch pot, so it should be my biggest bush. According to the website it can grow as high eight feet in the right conditions. I am going to grow it in a pot, so it will probably not get that big. I put the link to Hidden Valley Hibiscus on my link list.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Invasives
The bane of our front yard is dallis grass. Nearly impossible to kill, it spreads its stems out like a hairy spider. Last night Ben and I were up until 1:00 in the morning working on our Pontiac. Ben would occasionally require my services in holding the flashlight, finding a socket for his ratchet, or bringing him a glass of water. When he didn't need me, I would sit out on the front lawn and pull dallis grass.
MSMA is supposed to kill dallis grass, but when I treated it last month, many plants still managed to survive. The tops of them shriveled and died, but at the bottom by the roots, several plants have managed to send up green shoots and even produce seed. I treated it again a couple of days ago and will spray it again in another week. Hopefully, we will win the war against this ugly plant.
We are also getting sprouts of an invasive vine that appears to be green briar. Green briar is a thorny vine that climbs up fences, trees, bushes or whatever it can find. It is extremely difficult to kill. Hopefully since our vines are only a foot long or so, we will be able to get rid of them easier. Our neighbor has green briar growing all through the branches of his tree. I looks like it may kill the tree unless it is stopped.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Red Tips
I haven't seen a lot of red-tipped photinias that I really like, but we have a lot of them in our backyard. I decided that what I really would like to do with them is make them into small trees. I have only seen a few red-tip trees, and they are usually wild and wooly looking. I think o
urs look nice. I hope I can keep them looking good.
These are befo
re and after pictures of one bush.
Macho Weed Wacker
Yesterday I mowed the backyard and the front yard. I debated on whether or not to do the edging with our new weed wacker. I thought I might leave it for Ben, but I knew he would never get to it with all the car repairs we are in the middle of. I decided to attempt the task myself.
We bought the weed wacker second-hand on Craigslist. We got a great deal on it, but it is a beast. It is obviously built for a man. It is so heavy and so hard to start that by the time I get it running, I am completely exhausted. Then balancing the thing while keeping it away from your legs and any desireable vegetation is a project in itself without even tackling the weeds. I am getting better at it though.
After pulling on that stupid starter cord about thirty times I got the thing started. It just about took flight because I had the throttle maxed out. I let up on it and it promptly died. Fortunately, I was able to start it again. I had to kill the engine though because I had the wacker attachment on wrong. Third time being the charm, I started it again and started attacking the crab grass, renegade bermuda shoots, and sidewalk grass. Aside from a few spots where I scalped the poor lawn, It looks really good. I doubt anyone would hire me to do theirs, but I hope to improve in time.
Enrichment was a welcome oasis of sanity last night. I have so many great friends in my new ward. My visiting teaching companion called and offered to pick me up, so we went together. I also met a new girl who was just assigned as my visiting teacher. She is a real sweetheart. I sat at a table with women of all different ages and backgrounds and got to know each of them as we ate our Hawaiian haystacks. When we sang, As Sisters in Zion, for the opening hymn, I started getting choked up as I looked at all the women in the room. I could feel their strength and love of the Lord and it made me so grateful to be a part of such a great group of sisters.
I came home and Ben actually had the kids in bed! He fed them, dressed them in their pajamas, and he even did the dishes and swept the floor. Last time I went to enrichment, that was not the case, so I was very grateful to him.
I forgot to add, Layne also finds the flyswatter and chews on the swatty end. That is another disgusting habit of his. Devin calls the fly swatter a "hitter." He said this morning, "I found a bug Momma. Give me the hitter!" I put the milk away immediately after breakfast, but Layne managed to get a hold of the box of Frosted Miniwheats and dump them onto the table. He also dumped his bowl of soggy Honey Smacks onto my clean floor. There is nothing like soggy Honey Smacks to make your floor perpetually sticky. Good thing we love Layne.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Adventures
Adventures never cease when you are a mother of young children. I thought that when I first caught Devin soaked from top to bottom in toilet water, that I had hit the sanitary low. How wrong I was. Today was the second day I have found Layne splashing in not just toilet water . . . yes. Devin was recently potty trained during the day and has not yet developed the skill of consistent flushing, putting the lid down, or shutting the bathroom door. Luckily, he didn't drink any of it. It had both poo and pee in it. I heard the splashing and caught him almost immediately, so it was only on his hands. Still, anyone with OCD should never watch my kids. That isn't all. I was out putting composted manure in my rose bed and Layne grabbed a big handful and started stuffing it in his mouth. If this child lives to see his second birthday, it will be because of an incredible immune system.
The boys and I had a picnic on a blanket on the lawn. That was fun, except when Layne is not strapped down, he tends to wander . . . on top of everyone's plates. Oh, for other adventures, I forgot to mention that during the boy's bath today, I had to pry my razor out of Layne's mouth. No, he wasn't cut. I have no idea how he came out of that with no blood. When I was pregnant with Devin and teaching fourth grade, the mother of one of my students gave me a small book about Motherhood. One page said, "It is not uncommon for mothers to perform a dozen death-defying rescues every day." I thought that was a bit melodramatic, but now I am not so sure.
I also caught Layne on top of the dining room table pouring the contents of a jug of milk onto the floor. Note to self: Put the milk away immediately after breakfast. I am going to enrichment tonight to enjoy a child-free evening with sensible and sanitary adults. Ben gets to watch the kids. :)
Family Scripture Study
The sun has come out again! Now I am back to pruning my red-tip photinias. I have almost all of them finished. I decided that instead of shrubs, I wanted small trees, so I am cutting out the small lower branches and leaves. Our red rose bush has about five buds growing on it. The cannas have been doing better since it has been raining a lot. Maybe I have not been watering them enough. . . .
At night before bed, we have started reading the picture scriptures of the New Testament to Devin. (Layne doesn't sit still for a nano-second.) The images in those picture scriptures are incredible. I was up last night for an hour after I put the kids to bed reading and admiring the pictures. They are so much better than the picture scripture New Testament that I grew up with. It struck me that the images in the book showed a very young man. At first it was hard to get used to, but as I think on it, he was only a year older than I am when he started his ministry. It is likely that he was leading and teaching people twice his age. Peter was portrayed older than the Savior, maybe 50 years old or so.
Last night we read about John the Baptist baptising the Savior. For family night a few weeks ago, Ben taught the lesson on baptism and the kids took turns getting pretend baptised by their dad. They loved it and even Layne was having fun. Devin remembered that lesson when we read the story about the Savior's baptism. Devin loves the scripture stories. He can't get enough of them, especially the Old Testament. The other day he was jumping up and down in the kitchen saying, "Meshach, Abed-nego," over and over. They really do learn from the little effort that we make to teach them the gospel.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Super Meatloaf
This recipe is based on one I found off of allrecipes.com called Brown Sugar Meatloaf. I substituted a half pound of hamburger with a half pound of Italian sausage. I also added a roasted garlic seasoning I found at the grocery store for half price. I think those two additions made this recipe pop. The brown sugar and ketchup cook into a nice sweet sauce, and the sausage and garlic seasoning give it a little kick.
INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup ketchup
1 pounds lean ground beef
1/2 pound Italian Sausage
3/4 cup milk
2 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 small onion, chopped
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
3/4 cup finely crushed saltine cracker crumbs
Weber brand crushed roasted garlic and herb seasoning
DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a 5x9 inch loaf pan.
Press the brown sugar in the bottom of the prepared loaf pan and spread the ketchup over the sugar.
In a mixing bowl, mix thoroughly all remaining ingredients and shape into a loaf. Place on top of the ketchup. Sprinkle liberally with crushed roasted garlic and herb seasoning.
Bake in preheated oven for 1 hour or until juices are clear.
Strong Storms
It has been rainy and dreary here in the corner garden. Fortunately, it is still quite warm. It is 68 degrees in spite of the rain. Unfortunately, it is forecasted that we are going to have a couple of strong storms come through. Last month one of our strong storms brought large hail that damaged our roof, fence, and almost every plant on our property. Hopefully we won't have any more storms like that this season.
The boys are doing better. Devin was dry all night last night. He is very nearly out of diapers all together, which is wonderful. Layne loves to say, "bye," over and over while waving his arm. He waves with his entire arm and his little hand flaps around. Here is a picture of that little bug.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Rain
It is raining this morning and has been for two days. I went out to the garden in the rain yesterday to fertilize my canna plants. I read online that they need regular fertilizer to grow their best, so I used some of my hibiscus plant fertilizer and spread it around each plant. I need to fertilize my roses, azalea bush, petunias and marigolds as well, but I think I'll wait until it dries out some. One of my new little red rose bushes had its first bloom of the season today.
The boys have been difficult. Last night we opened the window because it was hot and stuffy in their room. We put them to bed and after a while, we heard a ruckus. We went into their room and found that they had destroyed the window screen and emptied out all of their dresser drawers outside the window. I suppose someday we might laugh about this and tell the story at parties, but it is not funny yet. Ben and I spent an hour refolding tiny shirts, shorts, pajamas, and rompers.
Beside that, we also found that the boys have managed to severely damage their dresser. This dresser is a dinosaur. I bet it has been around longer than I have and it weighs about two hundred pounds. I thought that surely they wouldn't be able to damage it, but they have. They will pull out the bottom drawers and then step on them to climb on top of the dresser. Because of the pressure and leverage, the board above the middle drawer is now broken. It is still functional, but the top drawer cannot be closed while the bottom drawer is open. I hope they will not grow up to be mad delinquents. They are certainly active and adventurous little boys.
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